How to Stop Avoiding and Start Leading
A leader in any capacity has the responsibility not only to manage but also to guide. In business, this often translates to making tough decisions – decisions that may not be popular for one reason or another. In these instances, leaders may choose to avoid conflict rather than face it head-on, which usually affects their decisions for the worse. This in turn affects their overall effectiveness as leaders, weakening not only themselves but also their team and even their organization.
The good news is that this situation can be turned around by anyone who’s serious about being a better leader. It’ll require hard work and honesty (and it will almost definitely be an uncomfortable process), but the results will speak for themselves over the long term.
Why some leaders choose avoidance
A key aspect of being a good leader is making hard calls, which can result in a lot of anxiety. In some cases, the decision-makers end up compromising on their goals or values because they just don’t want to deal with the fallout. They do this to avoid conflict in the present, but the benefits rarely outweigh the costs later on.
These are the most common rationalizations that leaders use to put off difficult decisions:
They’re just trying to keep the peace
Imagine a scenario in which a superior must deal with a problem employee. This individual has clearly been creating a lot of friction for their co-workers, and it’s reached a point where something has to be done. Rather than confronting them directly, though, the leader simply moves them to another department. This removes the pressure for them to address the problem, but only temporarily – the employee won’t change their behavior simply because they’re in a new working environment. Confronting someone about their poor behavior or decisions can be painful for everyone involved, which is why so many leaders choose the easy way out.
They want everyone to feel like they’re being treated equally
Leaders should never rank employees according to factors like gender, race, sexual orientation, etc. But what about work performance? The desire for equality is sometimes mistakenly extended to employee performance, which can vary drastically based on the individuals’ skills, level of motivation, or work ethic. Rather than selecting the top-performing employees for an important project, a leader could leave it up to employees to volunteer, or even pick lower-performing employees just to prove that they’re giving everyone a chance. This may garner some superficial appreciation, but it also means that underperformance is rewarded, while employees who go above and beyond have little to show for it.
They want to look before they leap
Another way to avoid conflict is by over-preparing before pulling the trigger on a big decision, to the point where a leader could miss out on significant opportunities because they didn’t want to risk an undesirable outcome. They prioritize “looking right” over “doing right”, because they’re afraid of dealing with the consequences of a decision gone wrong. Because they’re putting too much emphasis on making prudent decisions, though, they could end up letting their anxiety over potential failure dictate their choices.
They don’t want to damage the morale
Keeping morale high is one of the responsibilities of any leader, but some leaders act as if this is their main responsibility. For example, an executive could have the responsibility of informing his team about upcoming budget cuts – never a pleasant task. At first, they delay the news because their team members just have a lot on their plates; then they postpone it again because they’re on a roll, and they doesn’t want to discourage them. This leader’s reluctance to announce budget cuts is purportedly for the sake of his team, but it’s really about their desire to avoid being the bearer of bad news and losing popularity as a result. And of course, when they do finally make the announcement, this puts more pressure on everyone else to switch gears as they rework project plans to accommodate budget cuts.[TT1]
The true cost of avoiding conflict as a leader
The common theme of the examples above is that long-term benefits are exchanged for short-term relief. While there can be some benefits for leaders who rationalize avoidance in these ways, they’re nothing compared to the costs that they’ll have to pay down the line. The truth is that the consequences of avoiding conflict can be fairly serious:
● Damage to the leader’s reputation. Sooner or later, employees will notice that their organization isn’t being guided by effective leadership. A leader’s reputation largely depends on their past decisions; if those decisions are disproportionately affected by a desire to avoid conflict, this will inevitably damage their reputation both within and outside their organization.
● Poor performance. Lackluster leadership generally doesn’t result in a strong performance from employees; either they won’t be motivated to give their best effort, or they simply won’t have the resources and guidance to fulfill their own potential. Either way, this drags the entire team down, as well as affects the organization as a whole.
● Dysfunctional workplace culture. Without a leader to reward good behavior and curtail bad behavior, the workplace dynamic could easily become skewed or toxic. Things like harassment, chronically low job performance, or abuse of company resources could become the norm. And instead of being able to nip the problem in the bud, the leader would have much bigger issues on their hands if they finally did decide to address the problem.
Strategies that pave the way for stronger leadership
It’s one thing for a leader to recognize that they’ve been overly influenced by a desire to avoid conflict; it’s another thing for them to take decisive steps to turn the trend around. In order to do this, leaders should work on doing the following:
Take definitive action
In many cases, anxiety stems from continually postponing a difficult decision. On one end of the scale, it could be reluctance to discuss a poor performance review with a team member. On the other end of the scale, it could be hesitance to take a calculated risk that, if successful, will drive growth within the organization. Where an indecisive leader sees difficulties, a strong leader sees opportunities. Bold decisions (provided they’re backed by solid data) have more potential for a big payoff, but that’s not all. They also serve to inspire employees, even if they don’t necessarily work out every time. When team members can see that their leaders pursue innovation regardless of setbacks or unfavorable circumstances, they’ll be inspired to do the same.
Stay true to their vision
No matter what sector they’re in, every leader will encounter challenges and hardships along the way. The question is, what will be their motivation in responding to them? Will they simply try to mitigate the damage, or will they stay dedicated to their values while navigating difficult circumstances? Leaders can’t control everything that’s happening around them, but they can control the way they respond. Daily responsibilities still have to be attended to, and a good leader will be consistent regardless of the difficulties they’re facing. Whether it’s a minor confrontation or a life-changing decision, a leader should follow the same values that inform their less high-pressure choices.
Communicate with clarity
Even if team members don’t absolutely have to know everything that’s going on, it’s still crucial for a leader to keep everyone in the loop when appropriate. This is especially true during times of stress, controversy, or uncertainty; without authentic information that’s shared in an orderly way, the narrative is more likely to be taken over by rumors and speculation. Even though a leader probably won’t want the added pressure of giving updates on bad news, their voice is needed more than ever during those times. When it’s clear that information is being kept from employees, this makes them feel undervalued and ignored. If information is shared as it becomes available, however, team members will have the knowledge they need to respond more effectively and intentionally.
Look at the big picture
When faced with a situation that they’d much rather avoid, a leader may lose perspective. Rather than viewing the issue in the context of their past performance, strengths, and so on, they start catastrophizing about what could go wrong. This is an example of how anxiety can keep someone stuck in an endless loop of fear, discouragement, and inaction, instead of being used constructively, to spur decisive action. Rather than missing the forest for the trees, a leader should put the situation into context by remembering what’s actually true. For example, if they’re worrying about whether or not they’ll win a huge contract, they could remind themselves that their organization has weathered much worse than that before. This broader perspective won’t just help the leader deal with their anxiety; it’ll also help them project their confidence to their employees, putting the organization in a better position to handle the outcome.
The takeaway
Anyone can get caught up in anxiety, procrastination, or coping mechanisms that result in avoiding conflict to an unhealthy degree. It takes a true leader to recognize these patterns and turn them into more productive behaviors.